


(Un)resolved

by Queenofthefaceless



Category: Narcos (TV)
Genre: Javier blows (literally), M/M, Oral Sex, Shy Steve, Things happen in the bathroom just because
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-15
Updated: 2020-12-15
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:08:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28089042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queenofthefaceless/pseuds/Queenofthefaceless
Summary: When Steve begins feeling overwhelmed with tension, Javier is, of course, there to provide him with much needed, yet unexpected and oh-so-good stress relief.
Relationships: Steve Murphy/Javier Peña
Comments: 3
Kudos: 71





	(Un)resolved

Steve sat on the couch in the common area, trying his absolute best to finish reading the page he had been reading over and over for the past ten minutes. He huffed, sucked his cheeks in and occasionally looked up from the book.

Frustrated was an understatement.

Lately he had been feeling extremely on edge. Why, he could not tell for sure. There was no real reason to feel that way. The case was closed, there was no new self-proclaiming drug lord in sight, and he had time to himself for a change.

No, that was not the source of his nervousness.

He had to admit to himself, all of the American embassy had been working very hard lately and it seemed there was no time left for anyone of them to decompress properly. Javi, on the other hand –

_Javi._

The name popped into his head at the same moment when the owner of the name walked by him sipping from a bottle of cold water. His eyes followed him vigorously across the room and did not break contact for seconds in a row.

And suddenly he understood.

There was something rather bizarre about his connection to Javier lately. They had been as close as ever, to be sure, perhaps even closer than before, but nonetheless, something felt out of place to Steve. It felt as if he enjoyed spending time with Javier the most out of everyone, and he had been incredibly supportive and friendly through his separation from Connie. He constantly checked in on him, spent the nights and called him when he could, joined in on his drinking and he always made sure he was eating and getting fresh air.

He blamed his tension and frustration on the fact that… well, he had almost no chances at some _relief_. He struggled almost desperately to jerk off one evening before bed but wound up so afraid and anxious for many wild and various reasons, he couldn’t finish. His insomnia had gotten progressively worse over the past weeks, and it provided him with no comfort or ease.

And now there he was, unable to take his eyes off of Javier, and realizing more and more that, while his feelings and desires might have felt unusual, they also felt overwhelmingly real.

But he knew that there was nothing he could have done about it or say about it that would have made things easier or even remotely understandable on the younger’s part.

“Murphy. You doing good?”

The honey-drizzled husky voice woke Steve from his daydream so abruptly, he nearly dropped his book. He picked it up right away, feeling slightly embarrassed, but as usual, Javier was not one to judge or jump to conclusions.

“Are you okay?” Javier asked again.

“Yeah, yeah. Sure. Why?”

“You were kind of… spaced out for minutes. I thought maybe something was wrong.”

“No, nothing wrong. Just – “

Steve finally noticed Javier’s attire and couldn’t help but gulp: he was wearing a fitting black shirt, revealing his muscly arms, and a pair of jeans as equally fitting. Steve cursed at himself mentally and gathered his things in a rush.

“Where the hell are you going now?” Javier asked, concern audible behind his irritated tone.

Steve stopped, and for a brief second, the world around him seemed to have stopped as well. He avoided Javier’s glare as he took his phone and water bottle and fumbled around aimlessly.

“Murphy,” Javier said again, seemingly pining for his attention.

He grabbed Steve’s wrist so gently that it startled Steve immensely. Javier was not really one with kindness among his peers, but he seemed to make an exception for him, always. He stared at Javier with an unbelievable guilt that was simply raging inside of him.

He knew he shouldn’t have thought that way.

He knew it was ridiculous, wrong and all sorts of negative things.

Why was it happening?

Why with Javier Peña?

Steve’s lips parted to make way for some words to slither through, but nothing came out. Guilt taking control over his limbs, Steve left the common room and rushed to the bathroom, willing to keep his thoughts secret from everyone else.

He stood against the door, breathing in and out, closing his eyes and desperately trying to calm himself down.

Javier had always been one of the brightest, most cunning people to have around and one of the people Steve had been closest to since they met. Only lately, it seemed there was something… more developing.

And Steve began to hate it from the depths of his soul.

He refused to speak of it or even allow it to reside inside his mind, exhausted and restless as he was. Everything he knew and everything he had ever been taught was against that. He knew it should have come as something perfectly natural to some people. It was _human_. It was not wrong. It was as sincere as it was baffling.

But he refused to let it gain even more terrain than it already had.

_“Steve? Come on, man, I saw you go in there. Open the door.”_

Javier’s voice was unbelievably soft behind the door, just as his knock was, despite his tone suggesting the complete opposite, and it made Steve shiver. He took only one step farther away from the door, as if terrified that the man might hurt him.

_“Steve, seriously now, are you sure you’re okay? You seem a bit off.”_

“It’s not a good time, Javi.”

_“Okay. Fine. Keep it to yourself. We both know how well that worked out the last time.”_

Steve closed his eyes, huffing. Javier was right, of course he was. He claimed he had been fine when Connie returned to the States with their newly adopted daughter, the proceeded to drown himself in alcohol, come into work hungover or drunk and run on no sleep, cigarettes and caffeine.

He huffed again and opened the door to Javier, gulping as his eyes laid on him. He then avoided his strong, judging gaze for what felt like an eternity.

Steve was unsure how or where to begin with his explanation. He was doing alright, by all means. He was finally free from the Escobar fiasco, as was the entire crew, he had been recuperating emotionally and began adopting healthier means to his life, but he was on edge almost every single day, frustrated… and Javier was just so…

“So?” Javier asked. “What’s going on?”

“I – I don’t know. I’m just a bit… tense, that’s all.”

“Why?”

“I really… don’t know. It’s just – “

Steve bit his lower lip, a secret little trait which, unbeknownst to him, was so appealing to Javier.

“I’m feeling a bit on edge lately,” Steve admitted.

“I guessed that much,” Javier chuckled. “But why?”

“Well… it’s… okay, don’t laugh at me. It’s… guy problems.”

“And what am I, a fucking damsel in distress?”

Steve laughed, feeling the tension leave him little by little.

But it was not enough and it was not what he needed.

“I think I get it now,” Javier said.

“Really?”

“With everything so hectic lately, you haven’t had some alone time, or haven’t enjoyed… someone’s company in a while.”

“Yeah… yeah.”

“Why would I laugh at that? A lot of us are on the same page.”

“On the same –? What about drinking and – whatever the hell are those guys having to cope with their issues.”

“Those can only do so much. Sometimes you just need some – “

“Yeah.”

Silence installed itself in between the two men, with Steve smiling rather nervously at the floor.

“If you want me to hook you up with someone – “

“Nope. Not – not ready for that. I don’t think.”

“Are you sure? I know some damn good ladies who would be more than happy to have a dapper fellow like you under them. Or on them. You got any weird fetishes?”

“No, man, what the fuck!”

Javier genuinely giggled, filling the bathroom with the not-so-often-heard sound.

“So you – you haven’t had some… alone time either?” Steve asked.

“Just a… quick time last week.”

“No prostitutes for you either?”

“To be honest, I haven’t felt like enjoying that either.”

“I also tried about three weeks ago, but when Johnson nearly walked in on me I got too jumpy and couldn’t do anything anymore so I didn’t try anything after that.”

“Why the fuck would you try this here? I thought you were smarter than that.”

“Apparently not. And shut up, you know how it is when you’re on the verge of exploding.”

Javier raised his eyebrows. He sure did know.

“That’s… a lot of tension,” he said.

“Yeah, tell me about it.”

Steve laughed nervously and scratched the back of his neck with the same emotion, eyes once in a while looking down Javier’s way. He felt his cheeks get flushed but that he refused to hide for some reason.

But how could he begin to explain exactly how he had been feeling? And to the man who was the cause of his distress, no less?

“So, uh – “he said nervously.

“Look, if you need some help – “

“Help?”

Steve froze. He stared Javier down, almost unable to believe his ears.

Just how the hell was he thinking he could help him?

“How – how can you – “

“Well, I thought it would be obvious, but if I have to spell it out for you – “

“Javi. Dude. You don’t… mean that.”

There was a pause during which Steve struggled to breathe, anticipating Javier’s answer.

“Why do you think that?” he asked almost too innocently to be believed.

“Because! We’re – we’re friends! We’re… we – we work together. We’re… both men, we – we can’t – “

Javier frowned, stepping closer to Steve and watching him fuss over. It was rather unusual to see Steve so incredibly flustered and it made quite the image.

“Just because we’re both men doesn’t mean whatever we feel is not valid,” Javier told him. “I wouldn’t have classified you as close-minded.”

“I’m not. I really am not. And I – I know that. I know we don’t get to choose how – did you say ‘we’?”

He noticed the hesitation on Javier’s face and how his neck made itself more appealing by accident as he gulped, seemingly trying to hide his emotions. But this time, Steve gathered more strength from him and grabbed his arm, pulling him in.

“Javi,” he cooed, suddenly his voice darkened by a deeper desire consuming him.

“I, uh… I thought I’d make this easier on you. And I thought you knew how well I think of you.”

“I’m not sure that I do, Javi. I really… don’t think so.”

“I admire you, you know that. And… I think about you.”

With Steve’s intense glare on him, burning his skin alive, Javier couldn’t help it anymore.

He got on his knees, eyes glued to Steve the entire time. He saw the restlessness on his face, the impatience; his Adam’s apple was throbbing anxiously while he waited for Javier to make a move, any move.

“Is it okay if I – can I?”

Javier’s voice was so clear and so pleading, it made it impossible for Steve to refuse or say anything against it. If anything, he was too stunned and shook to respond at all. He could barely breathe at all when he saw Javier unzip his pants and dragging them down, following the same method for his boxers. Javier was rather surprised to notice how hard his friend was, and even flattered to a certain extent, through his own fault admittedly.

“J-Javi… n-no, d-don’t – “

The insecurity in Steve’s tone returned as he placed both his hands on the stall door as if to steady himself.

“You don’t want –?”

“It’s not that I – I don’t know – I – you – “

Javier had never heard him so timid before; he wanted nothing more but to ease his nerves and make him feel comfortable.

Steve, on the other hand, was unsure about what to expect. He had never been with another man, though he had been curious, to be sure; he had been wondering and pondering, and over the past months, Javier was the only man he could think about without a trace of remorse or guilt. He trusted Javier with his life countless of times, and that would never change. And Javier was right. There was nothing wrong about feeling things for someone, regardless of how they identified. He had been ashamed to think that way about one of his friends, his partner, but he could not help it.

And he couldn’t help his husky moans as he felt the man’s mouth now wrapped around his hardened cock, carefully and virtually masterfully taking him in his mouth, licking and sucking. Steve used all of his willpower to not raise his voice or any sudden gestures that would raise suspicion.

No one had to know what was going on behind closed doors, right?

He threw his head back, surrendering to the immense pleasure being brought to him. He unconsciously jerked his hips forward, but there was no need to, really; Javier was doing such a good job that it limited his possibilities of other movements. Within a matter of seconds, Steve felt his insides burn and he couldn’t do much of anything else but grunt and try to warn his partner by tugging at his hair.

Javier retreated just in time, watching Steve finish off right at his feet. He felt tingly all over his body because of it, as if the image was some sensual, forbidden secret that he had been blessed with.

It took Steve a little while before he caught his breath and found his words again.

“Why did you… do that?” he demanded.

Javier became rattled and insecure once again.

“I thought I was helping you. Like I said.”

“You did.”

Steve removed the rest of his clothes, standing before Javier fully naked, providing the latter with a sight that had been indeed forbidden and one that he now deemed as a guilty pleasure in all of its glory.

“But you also didn’t,” Steve continued. “Because it’s not enough. I need more, Javi.”

“I can give you more, be sure of that.”


End file.
